Puzzling Questions

• Who closes the door after the bus driver gets off the bus?
• Why are pizza boxes square when the pizza is round?
• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
• Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice"?
• If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?
• Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?
• Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
• If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound?
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
• If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
• Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air?
• Can people without hands get a grip?
• Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
• Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush?
• Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?
• Does peanut butter really have butter in it?
• Is the fear of flying groundless?
• Why do people say "You scared the living daylights out of me" when daylight is not living?
• If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing?
• Why are boxing rings square?
• Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?
• Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
• If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
• How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?
• If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first?
• Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
• If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid?
• What is the exception to the rule that every rule has an exception? Does that make this rule right or wrong?
• Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
• Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
• If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
• What if the hockey-pokey really is what it's all about?
• Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
• How can you hear yourself think?
• Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
• How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
• Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?
• If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
• If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?
• What would you use to dilute water?
• How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with?
• Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
• Aren't all generalizations false?
• Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
• Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
• Did Adam and Eve have navels?
• Do fish get cramps after eating?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
• How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
• How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
• How can there be "self help GROUPS"?
• How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
• If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
• If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
• How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
• If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
• If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
• If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
• If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
• If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
• If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
• If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
• If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?
• If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
• If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube?
• If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
• If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
• If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?
• If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
• If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out?
• If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
• If you take a shower, where do you put it?
• Instead of talking to your plants, if you yell at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
• Is it possible to be totally partial?
• Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
• Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
• What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?
• What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
• What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
• What hair colour do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
• What is another word for "thesaurus"?
• Who tows the tow trucks when they break down?
• Why are cigarettes sold in petrol stations when smoking is prohibited there?
• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
• Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?
• Why aren't there bullet-proof trousers?
• Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Why do bars advertise live bands? What does a dead band sound like?
• Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
• Why do they report power outages on TV?
• Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
• Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
• Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
• Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
• Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?
• Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
• Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
• Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
• Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
• Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
• Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
• Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
• Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
• Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
• You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
• Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
• After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
• You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?